Sunday, May 19, 2013

Why I go to confession

Don't get nervous (or perhaps be dissapointed), I am not here to share what naughtiness I have just confessed having made my weekly pilgrimage to St. Francis of Assissi church in Manhattan.  But I would like to share my thoughts on why I go to confession and think confession is so important.

Confession is a liberating experience for me.  I suppose this is because of my understanding of this most understood (and much maligned) of Catholic sacraments.  I have no illusion or perception of a man, collar or no sitting in the confessional booth.  For me, while I am aware of his presence, in my mind I am speaking to God.  Not by any virtue on the priest's part, but because upon entering the confessional I am partaking in a sacrament whereby the Lord himself hears me confess what I know to be sinful in His eyes and express my sorrow.

It is an act of contrition.  It is an act of faith.  It is an act of obedience.

And it is important to note that when the priest prays the prayer of absolution he does so 'In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit'.  He is not forgiving my sins.  God is forgiving my sins.  The priest is there perforning the duties handed down from Christ himself to the Apostles, and then to their successors, and then theirs all the way down to the priest that heard my confession a few moments ago. 

And I believe that not only does the priest have that authority as well as responsibility but also that Christ intended it to be this way.  And I believe it to be so because it is in scripture.

Christ forgave sins.  He did not have to prefface it with 'In the name of..'.because as God he had ultimate authority.  But knowing as he did that he was destined to die, rise, and ascend, he told Peter that he was his rock upon which we would build his church and in the same breath informed Peter that the sins he loosed on earth would be loosed in heaven and the sins bound on earth would be bound in heaven. 

This was not just a piece of interesting information for Peter's benefit.  It was a call to action that Jesus put to the Apostles and that then the Apostles put to their successors.  Look in Acts of the Apostles.  The sacraments were celebrate today were performed by the Apostles in His holy name.

Besides, are we to believe that Jesus would forgive sins on earth and tell his Apostles to the do the same only to let the rest of us over the next two thousand years to fend for ourselves?

Confession is not always easy, but look at the alternative.  Christ called his Apostles to forgive us our sins in His name and loving mercy and the Apostles tasked their succesors (hence the term Apostolic Succession) to do the same.  But forgivness is a two way steeet.  Before it can be given it must be requested.

And if Christ died for my sins and called priests to sit and listen to my failings...then the least I can do is show up.  A small price to pay considering how much He payed.

And that is why I go to Confesion.

Monday, May 6, 2013

And now...a Junior update.

For those of you following, my collaboration with St. Francis has been successful and Junior is back to his puppy self as can be seen by the pic attached to this blog.  Many thanks to St. Francis and the fine folks at North Shore Animal League for speeding Junior on the way to recovery. 

While I am happy that Junior is doing better, I confess, it was nice having him sleep all day especially since he would do so next to me.  As I write this blog he is roaming the house...which is what a puppy should do.  And I am happy.  Still, it was fun not having to share Junior with the rest of the house.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to rescue the roll of toilet paper Junior just made off with...

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Sick as a dog...

My poor dog junior is not feeling well. Apparently he has worms....I'll spare you the details of how I know. I have to take him to the vet this morning.  I say this morning because it is nearly 5 am and I have yet to sleep. Between Junior's fidgeting and my own allergies I have not slept much. Currently Junior is curled up laying at my feet...he is such a sweet little pup. I hope he will be o.k.

This experience gives me a small insight into the life of parents with small children when they are sick. The worry, the sleeplessness...

Yet in a small way, there is a degree of joy in it as well. There is a special kind of love to be shown when taking care of someone you love. There is a deepening of the bond that is, at least, a silver lining to the personal miseries of your own discomfort, and your discomfort evoked by your empathy for a loved one. Even a dog who is not feeling well.

St. Francis, if you are listening, look after Junior.

I'll do my part though, not to worry.

Monday, April 29, 2013

The Train and I

I have a strange relationship with trains.  Most of my life I took public transportation and while I never reqlly enjoyed it (though occasionaly if I got a seat on the edge I could nap which was cool) it seemed to me to be perfectly adequate.  It was either that or I walked, and seeing as I am not exactly thin and admiteddly lazy, I frequently purchased my metrocard to go hither and yon.

When I was 29, I started a relationship with a woman in New Jersey and at her (not so) gentle urging I began the process of getting a liscence and subsequently a car.

Since then I have been enamored with the life a car owner and look upon the life of a commuter in disgust.

Don't get me wrong, driving is not all peaches and cream.  Gas is expensive.  Tolls are expensive.  Maintenamce is expensive.  Parking tickets are expensive and aggravating.  Traffic is a pain.  Don't get me started on parking.

Certainly the life of straphanger is far cheaper.  Between parking, gas and tolls if I were to drive in to my job in manhattan it would set me back $35 easy.  A day.  That's compared to the $5 round trip I pay daily.  I get to nap if I can find a seat.  Hell my stop is feet away from my job.

Yet I hate it so, and if I were a stockbroker making 100's of thousands of dollars, would never see the inside of the 7 train again.

Well...hate is a strong word, but to be sure if I had the means to do so I would drive everywhere.  Hell, I value a spacious parking lot or at the least a sparsely populated street far more than any Zagat rating. 

Despite the many financial and practical advantages of mass transit, there are just some advantages that the car has over the train or bus that make it the preffered mode of transition.

Nearly all of them have to do with comfort, and I admit, I crave comfort and avoid inconvenience at all costs.  Someone who is not as enamored with comfort and more enamored with the environment or getting an authentically stale slice of New York would preffer mass transit.  Either that or they live in Manhattan an area where owning a car makes no sense whatsoever.  But this is my blog and those people can go write their own.

Lets look at specifics:

On the train or bus, you are lucky to find a seat and in fact you rarely do unless you live very close to the first stop on the line...or are traveling at 2 am.

In a car you are guaranteed a seat.  In fact sitting is a prerequisite.

If you were to light up a ciggarette or cigar on public you would, I immagine, face a stiff fine if not jail time.

You have to wait for the train to stop to get off.  Only thing you have no control over where the train goes.  It will go where the MTA has ordained and will stop simmilarly.

And then there is the wait.  In the subway in the summer you melt.  Waiting for the bus in the winter causes you to freeze.

Too hot on a train?  Too bad.  Too cold on a bus?  Bring a sweater next time.

By comparisson in my car I am lord high exaulted emperor.  I control the temperature, whether or not the windows are open, what goes on the radio if anything. 

If I want to smoke, I smoke.  If I want to fart or take off my shoes I can do so.  I can do anything I want inside my car that makes me comfortable or strikes my fancy

I can stop the car when I want.  Go when I want.  It is my faithful coach that waits for me patiently till I am ready to go and goes whete I tell it.  It lives on my schedule, not the reverse.

Well...there are those traffic laws and all, but that's outside.  Inside, ego sum rex.

Still, the train, regardless of how I feel about it is the most financially viable way for me to get to work and without work I would have no money to make the car payments, pay for gas, insurance or tolls.

That which I hate is necessary to maintain that which I love.

Hence, my strange relationship with the train.

For the record, I wrote this on the train on my way to work.  I could never do this driving in my car, so I guess I can throw the train a bone.

All aboard!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Pope John Paul II to be canonized in October!

For the longest time those of the elder generation had one experiece I had never had.  They lived through the death of one pope and the election of another. 

For most of my years so far on this earth I knew only one pope, John Paul II, or as he became known to us at World Youth day (aka Popestock ) '93, JP2

He was a once in a lifetime, maybe even once in a century pope whose impact on the church will be felt far into the future. 

He had a special connection with people of all faiths and especialy with the Youth of the faith that stays with me to this day.  A connection of closeness and spiritual intimacy that belied the exaulted position he held in the church and in the world.  It is what made him special, not only in its uniqueness but also because it is the way it was supposed to be. 

Christ was love, a close personal love to not only his Apostles but also to all of those he encountered.  The position of his vicar, leading a flock of a billion, in many ways creates a distance between the Christ and the faithful.  Yet somehow this first non-Italian pope in centuries managed to bridge that gap in the hearts of the faithful.

I remeber being in Denver.  I forget the name of the stadium and forgot the name of the national park, choked with dust, where I passed out right after the final blessing.  But I do remember how I felt. 

As a young semminary student I had wondered what it would be like to be in the pressence of Christ in the flesh.  This human who I believe was also divine, this being who died for my sins, suffered a death on the cross, this being who was Love in a way that I could never hope to emmulate or even fully comprehend.  Christ, who so encompassed the center of who I am and what I believe.

I belive I know how it would feel.  I beliece this way because in Denver, sinuses clogged beyond relief, my heart was touched by the divine hand adorned with holiest of wounds.  I believe the real presence of Christ was present there among the faithful shivering and covered in dust. 

Now I know that Christ is present wherever two or more are gathered in his name.  But I feel, in my heart, there was something special, supernatural about the goings on in Denver, and I think it was because the Spirit was with JP2 in a special way. 

Some of you reading know what I mean.  Some of you think it was lack of sleep, fatigue or mass hysteria.  So be it.  I know what I felt andnit was life changing.  It was a gift from God through JP2.  That's good enough for me.

Now this popular pope and significant historical figure (few would argue his importance in taking down Communism) is to be cannonized in October. 

When he died, there was an upwelling of support for sainthood, indeed a cry went up from the faithful; Santo Subito!  Sainthood Quicly! 

The church listened and I am happy.

Even as I wipe tears of joy from my eyes.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Me and my dog..

Just hanging out with my dog trying to figure out what to have for breakfast....his choice is easy, he kets Blue Buffalo puppy food.  For the record, if the makers of Blue would like to give me a bag or two for the free plug...

Anyways he just walked away and I have to go see what mischief he is getting into...

Friday, April 5, 2013

TThis will not be an auspicious first post, but hopefuly more will be comming!  I will be commenting on politics, culture, whatever!  Comments welcome!